Don't Wake Up
by Jaade
Summary: He didn't leave footsteps on the floor, or an image in the mirror, that God-like Sirius Black. Because on the night that Sirius woke Ron, he visited Remus Lupin. A sad, literary oneshot, told in the POVs of Remus, Sirius, and a homophobic Severus Snape. SLASH Remus/Sirius


**Author's Note: I see its been a long time I've done oneshots, I've been so busy with my Remus/Tonks chapter stories... So I thought I would do something different, a Remus/Sirius oneshot. This is set during POA, on the day Sirius appeared before Ron Weasley, he had approached a sleeping Remus. All right, I would really appreciate it if you review, thanks :)**

**Tell me anything, really. This is a literary piece, since I didn't exactly get much chance for literature in my chapter stories, so bear with the prosaic language. **

**Thank you! -Jade**

**DISCLAIMER - I do not own Harry Potter. Yet. *cackles***

_**Don't Wake Up**_

The night seemed to creep in through his window as he sat, marking essays, his tired form, too young to be bent, slumped over a chair. Seventh year literature slipped past his senses as he underlined key points, and jotted down notes. Scars illuminated as he hummed a tuneless, wordless sonata that he recalled once had words in all the empty spaces. A pale, long fingered, pianist's hand reached out to snuff the lamp, spidery fingers hovering over the flame, revelling in the heat for the split second it took for the fire to die out. He stretched, his weary, young body tiredly accepting the blissful rest that was to arrive as he slipped into the bed, under the covers.

A dog creeped into the room, the urge to bark for joy rising in him like the tide on a full moon night, as he quelled it, pressing it down, as his fur turned into fine hairs, and his snout transformed into a aquiline, aristocratic nose, grey eyes framing them in a barrage of dirt and hair. He stretched out his fingers toward the sleeping man, running his hand through the feathery light hair, drinking in his features like they used to do on nights passed years ago.

He was beautiful when he slept, decided Sirius Black, for that was his name, and he was so innocent with closed eyes, baby brown lashes framing them, highlighting the dark circles indented under them, like the wax seal of an envelope. His lips turned up, pouting in his sleep, as he breathed light, frothy breaths, taken into the land of the sleep he didn't seem to get often. Sirius ran cracked fingers down Remus's cheek, feeling the smooth skin mottled with raised scars.

Remus twitched, feeling something alien, yet it wasn't alien. It was Sirius Black, lover and brother.

"Don't wake up..." whispered the murderer, grey eyes seeing through the sleeping eyelids into the blue eyelids beyond. "Please don't wake up..." a breathy whisper, full of wanton desire, longing and pure fear.

Then he kissed him. He must have felt it, that Remus Lupin, but he worked it into a dream, those hard, manly, chapped lips of one Sirius Black, grinding against his soft ones. It was a wet kiss, sloppy and hushed, as desire rushed through the Black as never before, wanting to smother Lupin with a pillow, and have his way right there. He knew the werewolf would stay quiet. He knew that if he woke up, his kisses would be returned, soft and whispered, and he would be loved for his loving. He would let Sirius escape, but he would tear himself up over it. Sirius couldn't let him do that, wouldn't.

"Don't...don't wake up..." he pleaded again, softly as he pressed a final kiss to the sleeping man's lips, straightening up, and running quietly to Gryffindor Tower for the job he had come to do. That night a red-headed boy woke up screaming about a murderer, a criminal who had a knife. He screamed about the same Sirius Black who had pressed soft, longing kisses to the lips of a sleeping werewolf.

Severus Snape ran down the corridor, cursing sourly. _He, _of all people had to run back from Gryffindor Tower to wake that filth of a Lupin, why, he didn't know, the man was useless. However, Dumbledore insisted, and Severus was obliged to comply, if only for the memory of a red haired, laughing girl. He strode down the corridor to Lupins office, his billowing black robes making the macabre comparison to a bat laughably easy. He threw open Lupin's office door, of course he hadn't locked it, foolish man. Probably _wanted _the murderer to kill him in his sleep.

Of course he did, mused Severus , as he walked to the sleeping quarters of the man, of course he wanted Black to kill him...or worse. In sixth year, Snape's perception of Lupin had been twisted forever with the knowlede that he was a werewolf, but he did not let slip that in seventh year, he stumbled upon another secret that the boy hid. He had walked in on the two of them, twisted like the snakes on Hermes's staff in an empty classroom, and was about to walk away, sneering at Black's poor choices when he realised that it was Lupin the was being kissed. A male loving a male, against laws of nature. Severus's mouth twisted bitterly. They both got what they deserved, for disobeying what was law.

He flung open the door, his eyes resting on the sleeping form for a split second before calling out harshly,

"Wake up, Lupin! Black is in the castle, and we have to search! Wake, NOW!"

He awoke, eyes adjusting to the light, and more importantly, what was blocking the light. The crooked form of Severus Snape.

"What..who?" he asked blearily, getting to his feet.

Snape looked at him strangely for a minute, his eyes lingering upon Lupin's face (was there anything odd?) before snapping out orders to follow him, and do it _quick _for God's sake. Remus hurried along, as he tasted his lips, different from the neutral taste they usually presented, tasting another person, another _man, _another kiss. As he strode along, he recalled the force of lips crashing on his own, so strong, so simple, so _masculine. _The homosexuality Remus tried to bury in him nowadays rose again to the surface, pounding hard.

Panic swelled in him like phantom applause in a ghost theatre as he felt the touch of Sirius Black, mass murderer, and the teacherly part of him wondered how the hell did the man get inside the room, why he hadn't woken up. He recalled not hearing footsteps, but that was normal, recalled the part of Remus that still loved Sirius with a passion, that wasn't straight, that was normal because to him, Sirius was like a God. He didn't leave ripples in the water, images in mirrors, or footsteps in the sand.

Dumbledore was there, anger surging from him, but even when he paused to look at Remus, his face changed. Was there something different?

'Sirius Black has been in the castle," spoke Dumbledore, directing it not to Severus, but to the smaller man next to him.

"Yes, sir." breathed Remus, he knew that. He knew that Sirius was in the castle, because he was _with him. He had been with him. _

Why had he not woken up, why had he not screamed, if he was self aware enough to remember every detail.

"Do you know any passages he could have used? I am only questioning you because you were...friends." The stuttered pause before the hastily uttered "friends" gave away that Dumbledore, he knew too, he knew that Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, they weren't straight.

Words ran through Remus's head like water from the tap that never closed in his old house, One-Eyed-Witch's passage, the Barnabas the Barmy corridor, the Ebert The Evil statue passageway, the three basement corridors, the dungeons, _Padfoot..._ The words rose in him like vomit, and he was going to tell Dumbledor, yes, he would give Sirius Black away.

"No, sir. I don't know any. I..I don't know, sir." Coward, fool, coward.

"I thought so. Thank you, Remus, I suppose you can return to bed. Severus, you too. We will continue the search after we have all had a good night's rest."

_Don't wake up. Please...don't wake up._

As Sirius's whispered words hit Remus, he knew. He knew why he did not wake up, why he did not make noise. He didn't because Sirius told him to. He had done so many things, so many cruel, wicked things like this, because Sirius Black told him to. Because he loved the man.

_I do not! _

As Severus Snape moved out of the room, he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Lupin slide down the wall, his shoulders shaking with muffled sobs, as the full force of the kiss hit him again and again. Severus wasn't feeling pity for the man, not at all. He didn't give a damn about Lupin and his lover who played hide and seek. He didn't care for the heartwrenching crying scene Lupin was performing. But maybe, he felt, as he walked back with the image of the man's utter defeation in his mind, maybe loving a man, to them at least, was just as powerful as loving a woman.

As Remus broke down into the shell of the man he was, all the feelings of love, hurt and everything, toward the man who didn't leave ripples in the water, the God-like Sirius Black. The urges and desires he suppressed inside himself for twelve years, convincing himself he like women, bedding prostitute after girlfriends to convince himself that _no, he did NOT _love Sirius Black, that they were NEVER lovers. His tactics didn't work, it seemed to him, as his shaking frame trembled further.

Because Remus Lupin was gay, oh yes. He was as gay as they come.

**Ok, I'm done. Thanks for keeping up with this starved fangirl for this long!**

**I don't really know why I made Severus so homophobic at first, but whatever. I hope you will review, please do so.**

**Thank you very much**

**Jade.**


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